Long time no see. Apologies for how long it’s taken me to get back to this, I planned on updating it everyday and then when I soon realised that was impossible, I decided once a week and even then I struggled. Instead, I thought (pardon my french) I needed to sort my shit out by 31st December and then I’d reassess the situation so I didn’t bore you with my breakdowns. So, here I am, I gave myself an ultimatum of 31st December to sort my shit out, and that I did, 2017 and here I am, I’m happy, I have my shit together and after a difficult few weeks and realisations beyond belief I am ready for what this year has in store for me.

I’m home for christmas, and that was something that has scared me since my break up, scared me because while in Cyprus I had to remain strong, I had to be brave, while at home I was with family and friends that knew I was in love, I had to face things all over again. My first day in work when I was back I saw someone he knew and it killed me inside, I was shaking and I had to deal with it, I got over it but that was something that while in Cyprus I never had to deal with. Being back, my first night I had to throw away all the stuff he bought me, stuff that was his, things I had previously wanted to keep but knew deep down it wouldn’t be healthy too. So, the only thing I have left, is a bracelet, a Tiffany heart one he got me for my 21st because it holds no sad moments, only happy! It proves that he loved and listened (sometimes) but also lets me know that deep down I knew it wasn’t right.

My friends and family are my rocks and being home has truly shown me who matters, who cares and loves me and how no matter what happens they’ll always be my side. I can no longer be sad for what I lost because there are still so many other things in my life that matter. I’m lucky for everything I have and while one chapter ends, another begins, in the long term I know that if that chapter had carried on, I would have never been truly happy, so in a way, I’m grateful that I am now free from it to find true happiness.

Happy New Year, I certainly had the best New Years Eve I have ever had filled with love. When I compare it to last year I realise I wasn’t happy last year and how when the clock struck midnight, something I’d been scared of, there was no regrets, no nothing and I knew this year I was happy.

So, here’s to new beginnings, a new chapter and I hope you get yours too!

Kathryn

xoxo