Today I decided to do a lot of things, as well as dragging myself out of bed, sending copious emails and doing uni work, I also decided today would be the day I took back control of my life. In doing this, I decided to try again at filling my instagram with happy posts, by taking part in another #100happydays in the hope I don’t fail as miserably as I did last time. In another attempt to gain back some control, I also decided to start this blog. I had the idea weeks ago, and days ago I came up with a blog name, I joined up to wordpress and I’ve just had it sitting there waiting for me to start until I finally had the balls to do something with it. Well today i decided to do something with it. Afterall, Mondays are the day we’re meant to start things aren’t we? Diets, exercise or any change in our life that springs to mind, Monday is the chosen day, “carpe diem” of days, I could have tried to be original and chosen a Wednesday, the humpday or been even more controversial on a Thursday, changing from the usual throwback. But no. I chose my Monday and I’m content with that choice.

The reason for such a choice, I recently went through a break-up. How recent is recent depends on your perception, some would think by that it was a week ago or a few days ago or even a few months ago. My recent, is 4 1/2 weeks ago, 28th October to be exact. And I’m not going to sit here and say that was the day my whole life turned upside down and I fell apart because that would be pathetic, wouldn’t it? Everyone tells me not to be defined by a relationship, to not rely on someone else to be the reason for your happiness, and while all of that is true to some extent, there are times when yes a break up will literally break you. And that’s okay too! Because for a time, the happiness that relationship gave you was different to any other happiness you felt. For me it was my first relationship, yes I’d dated, yes I’d even had “boyfriends” before, but not necessarily anything that warranted being called a serious grownup relationship. The first time I ever loved someone and thought I wanted to spend my life with them.

Another thing about me, I’m usually a realist, I’m under no allusion that things last forever, I’ve seen enough in my life to know that isn’t true. Which made it so hard for me to feel broken, I know I could be fixed, I know I could carry on. But it was the getting there that was the issue.

The reason the getting there was so difficult was because of one main issue, 14th September, I stepped on a plane to Cyprus, I left my family, friends and then-boyfriend to study for a year in Larnaca, my Masters in Law to be exact. Hence why my blog is called life.love.law. This move was one of the biggest things I have ever done, one of the biggest risks I have ever taken and I did it because I wanted to be selfish. I never moved away for university, I stayed for a variety of reasons, but a big one was because of family. Family has always been such a big part of my life, obviously, like it is to most people, and family is the reason for many of my choices in life. While I stayed at home for my undergraduate and I commuted everyday, while I don’t regret it, I know I missed out on a lot, I didn’t get the typical “university experience”. I didn’t join any societies and I didn’t get to build strong bonds with uni friends. I didn’t move out and although I’ve always been fairly independent, I knew I wouldn’t get the chance to move out for a fair few years. So I chose Cyprus. I love the country, the culture and by god the food is good! I knew I’d never leave the Wirral, I’d never want to live anywhere else, so while I was young, I wanted to be selfish and do something for myself. Cyprus gave me that chance, I could be somewhere I felt familiar with and comfortable enough to uproot my life for a year. UCLAN Cyprus has given me all of those chances, to do something for myself and I wouldn’t change that for the world, even if it meant saving my relationship, because it obviously wasn’t worth saving in the first place. I moved, and I can’t feel guilty for that. Me moving to Cyprus wasn’t “the beginning of the end” far from it, it can be attributed to my relationship sure, my ex couldn’t cope with me being here, so for him it was the beginning of the end. But for me, Cyprus was the start, Cyprus was the beginning of my future and I’ve realised a lot while I’ve been here. Who cares, who loves me, who my real friends and family are and who will never leave my side. For that I am sincerely grateful and feel lucky for.

So while there’s been ups and downs, and while I’ve been sad and angry over the past month, I know that in the end I’ll be okay. While before I may have been completely okay, I may not have acted okay or seemed okay, in the end we’ll all be okay.

I’ll be okay because of who surrounds me, I have amazing family and friends, both in the UK and here in Cyprus. I live with some of the best people ever, I have friends I wouldn’t have otherwise known. I’m doing the things I love, I’m doing law, I’m hiking, I’m in a theatre club,  I volunteer with scouts.

This is me. Join me on my journey.

xoxo Kathryn